diary of a mad
househusband

17 february 2000

 

 "and it came to pass..."

And the Lord spake unto the Queen of the House, saying, Mommy, can we go to a restaurant tonight? And can I have a milkshake? And the Queen of the House replied, saying, Oh Lord, Thy Will be done.

And thus it came to pass that we drove through the wilderness of suburbia, yea, even unto that snootiest of Fort Worth suburbs, which is called Grapevine,

For it was the will of the Queen of the House to buy some new kitchen chairs in a market of that city.

And when we had come to the market, lo, there appeared in the parking lot a great restaurant, and the Queen of the House spake, saying, Let's try that one, shall we? But when we had come to the inn, there was no milkshake.

But the innkeeper spake, saying, Behold, across the parking lot behind us is a burger joint, which is called Chuck's, and there ye shall find a milkshake.

And we departed that restaurant, and went up unto that burger joint, which is called Chuck's, and there did obtain a milkshake for the Lord, and burgers for all. And the Lord saw that it was good, and ate all of his burger before he even finished his milkshake.

And when the multitude had been fed, and the hunger of all had been satisfied, we gathered of the fragments only the remains of the Lord's cheese fries. And these we wrapped in aluminum foil, and brought them even unto the car, that the Lord might eat them later.

And lo, even as I write these words, the Lord spake, saying, Where's my cheese fries? And the Queen of the House is even now removing them from the microwave.

And when we did depart that burger joint, which is called Chuck's, and came to the market, which is called Target, the Queen of the House did find the kitchen chairs which her heart desired. And these she did purchase, and she was well pleased.

And it came to pass that we drove back through the wilderness of suburbia, yea, even unto our home, and the evening was still young. Then it was that I, the humble servant of the Lord and the Queen of the House, did tackle the Nag List, which is called by some the Honeydew List.

And behold, I did hang the new living room drapes, which the Queen of the House had purchased. And verily I did hook up the old VCR to the bedroom TV, so that the Lord and the Queen of the House can watch different movies at the same time, and no one of us need talk to anyone else.

And there was great rejoicing in the land, for the Lord did have his milkshake, and the Queen of the House did have her new kitchen chairs, and her drapes hung, and her bedroom VCR, and I, the humble servant of the Lord and the Queen of the House, did not have to cook tonight.

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